For the past few weeks, videos of a mother raising her child have continually popped up on my "For You" page on Tik Tok. However, this mother's videos were unique from others I have seen--she was raising her son in a gender-neutral environment. After watching these videos, I found myself thinking a lot about how gender and gender norms function within our society and in my own upbringing, whether I realize it or not.
One large thing that is affected by a gender-neutral upbringing is the toys that are given to a child. My mother had supplied me with an abundance of toys, with everything from Barbie dolls to automated "Bop-it" games. On the other hand, my brothers received superhero action figures and Hot Wheels race cars. Looking back, even the things we shared in common, such as Webkinz stuffed animals, seem to have a divide. While my brothers sported poisonous lionfish and hefty leopards, I played with delicate kittens and quite literally, bright pink unicorns.
As a note, I don’t place any blame or disappointment in the way my parents have raised me. They let my brothers and I choose our own toys and let us express our identity in the ways that we wanted to. However, simply as a product of living in a society where societal gender norms are so common, my brothers and I naturally followed conventional gender roles. Reflecting on this part of my childhood, the society in which my brothers and I were raised were definitely a factor in the perpetuation of this classic gender stereotype. Following traditional ideas, my toys reflect society’s expectation for women to be girly and delicate while my brothers’ toys represent an expectation of masculinity and strength.
Coming across these Tik Tok videos makes me wonder what my childhood toys, clothing, and more would have been like without being surrounded by traditional gender norms. It seems that everywhere you go, these societal expectations are imprinted into our world. For example, when you go to Target to shop for a book, you can’t help but pass by the aisles of toys for kids of all ages. However, when you look deeper into those aisles, you will notice sections “for girls” are filled with dolls and bright pink paint while the section “for boys” contains toy trucks and shades of dark blue. Even in clothing, an everyday essential, the color difference is evident. Being raised in an environment where these expectations of what colors, activities, clothing, games, etc., are broken down, I think I definitely would have reached for a toy car instead of the latest Littlest Pet Shop animal figures. While taking up such a small part of my day, these Tik Tok videos have made me really reflect and realize how deeply rooted these gender norms are far back into my life and my interests.
Yeah I think what toys I would have wanted growing up would be totally different if the way the aisles and packages were designed differently. It's one of the things you learn growing up is which toy aisle is for you, but if there weren't the sort of indicators you mentioned above, I feel like I would be wanting toys from both aisles. I think it would be good if toy packaging would be less targeting of one particular gender and would really be more open for kids to choose what they want. But then again, I think kids would be influenced by those around them. I know that for many years my aunt and uncle would always give me a doll for Christmas, ignoring whatever I said I was interested in. But I think changing packaging would be a good first step.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really interesting how an app like TikTok, which I think people have truly underestimated in terms of the impact it can have on a person, has influenced to think about gender norms again. I agree with you on the subject of how something as trivial as the toys we buy as kids can reflect society-based gender norms. Although I am an only child, an thus did not have a sibling to compare my choice in toys to, I distinctly recall a neighbor of mine being surprised when he found out I owned a remote controlled car, due to the fact that I was a girl. I think at least one step in the right direction might be to instead of separating the toy section into "boys" and "girls" why not have them interspersed? Have the Hot Wheels placed directly under the Bratz Dolls, and line the walls with blue and pink polka dots instead. This might actually be an interesting experiment so try out...
ReplyDeleteWhile reading your post, I started thinking of my own childhood and the toys I was given. I don't necessarily think I naturally gravitated towards toys Barbies and dolls, but rather, those were the toys that were presented to me and thus the ones I was most familiar with. When I was 3, I received a red vest from a relative in China with a Thomas the Tank Engine graphic embroidered on (China has somewhat different gender norms than here in the US). I felt strange wearing the vest in public and at my preschool because all of the girls wore cutesy pink and purple shirts. I wonder-- even if the woman's son is raised in a gender-neutral setting and is allowed to the freedom to choose-- if he would truly be allowed to. Unfortunately, I think our environment pressures us into choosing certain things that have already been defined for us, even if we are encouraged to choose for ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI find it really interesting how different a child's experience with gender norms during their developmental period can affect them later in their life. This post made me think about how my young life was affected as well. Personally, I think my parents did a good job of making a lot of toys and surroundings gender neutral. For example, my room was painted with as a sky instead of a traditionally female color like pink. My parents also tried to even out all of my toys by allowing me to purchase an art kit or race car for every Barbie doll I got. However, at school I noticed the difference between the stuff I had compared to other girls in my class. They often had very colorful books and folders while the boys had basic colors. I suddenly felt the need to get different colors because I wanted to fit in. This topic is amazing to recognize and reflect on so thank you!
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